Halo Halo!

Not with a bang, but a whimper

The International Textile, Garment and Leather Workers Federation (ITGLWF) is, no doubt, a perfectly sensible, level-headed organisation, and unlikely to be involved with, or to have any connection with half-baked, bible thumping, doomsday merchants.

Unfortunately for them though, if you happen to be looking for information on a slightly less rational organisation which abbreviates its name to ITGWF, and which invites you to ‘Get Your Tickets For the End of the World Spectacular’, when you Google this, it is the International Textile, Garment and Leather Workers Federation’s website that comes up at the top of the list. In fact, it takes a while to find the loony ITGWF (which, in this case, stands for ‘Invitation to God’s Wedding Feast’).

It is also important to note here that when they talk about ‘God’s wedding feast’, what they actually mean is Armageddon, the final, catastrophic battle between the forces of good and evil, in which (it has already been decided, apparently) the good guys are going to win. And it seems this is going to be one hell of a party – for God at least. The website includes numerous details of what slaughter, carnage and destruction is planned, helpful bible references to the horror, and exciting, in-depth revelations of what to expect as the Resurrection, Armageddon, the Final Battle of all Time and the Final Judgement are all played out, and much, much more. ‘His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written that no man knew but he himself, And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called the Word of God’, for example.

It’s not often that God lays on a party so it ought to be a good one. There will be fireworks, balloons and a barbeque no doubt. Music will perhaps be provided by a heavenly choir, and hopefully there will be a display of riding skills by the four horsemen of the apocalypse. The evening will then be rounded off with Satan being chained up for 1,000 years. So if you want to be there, book your tickets now.

Hopefully, in case of rain it can all be transferred indoors, but to be honest it doesn’t sound like fun-filled family entertainment. We hate to put a damper on things, but for an Armageddon do we were hoping for a bit more. It’s certainly not what the Socialist Party would put on if we were planning an event for the end of the world.

And another thing, until all this was announced getting in to heaven at the end of time was going to be much simpler. Even for those of us who don’t qualify for a proper invitation. Until this lot came on the scene, all you had to do was to state that you believe that Jesus is your Lord and saviour, repent of your sins, and at the very most, be born again.

Apart from being born again it was easy. You simply had to tell the guy at the pearly gates, God, or Saint Peter, or whoever, that you believed and repented, and that was it. You could be the most devious, lecherous, foul mouthed old humbug ever to have slithered through the turnpike, but as long as you repented, you were in. And if they’ve changed the rules for that, then it is obviously a matter of concern, for some of us, at least.

So all in all, this organisation’s ‘End of the World Spectacular’ may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I wonder if the International Textile, Garment and Leather Workers have any better plans for the event?


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