Jokes

April 2024 Forums Off topic Jokes

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  • #84927
    alanjjohnstone
    Keymaster

    An anarchist, a trotskyist, and a maoist walk into a bar. they get drunk and argue like hell. Three SPGBers walk into a bar for their branch meeting, they get drunk and argue like hell

    Why did the pacifist hear music every time he went to the toilet? Is was on account of the violins inherent in the cistern.

    Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!

    A contemporary one 

    An American cop, a racist and a murderer walks into a bar – And that's just the first guy

    A vegan, tired of the same old food, tries eating some daffodil bulbs. Before long he becomes very ill and is rushed to hospital. His concerned friend visits the hospital and says to the doctor 'how serious is it, when will he be able to leave'. The doctor replies 'I'm afraid it's very serious, he won't be out till spring!'

    (stolen and adapted from Libcom)

    #120588
    alanjjohnstone
    Keymaster

    A farm worker greets Josef Stalin at his potato farm. “Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God,” the farmer excitedly tells his leader. “But God does not exist,” replies Stalin. “Exactly,” says the farmer. “Neither do the potatoes.” 

    #120589
    rodmanlewis
    Participant

    Calling India the world's largest democracy!

    #120590
    alanjjohnstone
    Keymaster

    Q: Clinton and Trump are together in a plane crash, who survives?A: the world

    #120591
    alanjjohnstone
    Keymaster

    Karl Marx died and is sent to Hell.Three days later, the Devil, desperate, telephones Saint Peter, begging for an exchange."This one here has already unionized all the demons, nobody is working. I can't carry on like this!"So they made the exchange and two days afterwards, the Devil telephones again to see how things were going."So then? How is God getting on with that Marx ?""God ??" answered Saint Peter. "He doesn't exist!"

    #120592
    alanjjohnstone
    Keymaster

    No.1 Two anarchists are making molotov cocktails. One says to the other, "So who will we throw these at then?"The other replies "What are you, some kind of fucking intellectual?!?"No.2 An old revolutionary walks across the Brooklyn Bridge one day, and he sees man of a similar age standing on the edge, about to jump.He runs over and says: "Stop. Don't do it.""Why shouldn't I?" he asked."Well, there's so much to live for!""I'm just depressed, I've been a Communist all my life and the revolution seems as far away as ever""You're a Communist?""Yeah, why?""I am as well!! Did you originally join the Communist Party USA?""Yeah""Me too! Did you join the pro-Trotsky Communist League of America in 1928, which later merged with the American Workers Party to form the Workers Party of America in 1934?""Yeah""Spooky, Me too! After the WPA was expelled from the Socialist Party of America in 1936 did you then go on to join the Socialist Workers Party USA and the fourth international?""I did actually…""Me too! In the 1940 dispute did you side with Cannon or Shachtman?""Cannon.""Me too! In 1962 did you join Robertson's opposition caucus, the Revolutionary Tendency?""Yep."" Holly shit! And of course like me you were expelled and went on to join the International Communist League (Spartacist)""Well that goes without saying!""In 1985 did you join the International Bolshevik Tendency who claimed that the Sparts have degenerated into an 'obedience cult' ""No way!""Nah, me neither. In 1998 did you join the Internationalist Group after the Permanent Revolution Faction were expelled from the ICL?""Yeah! I can't believe this! Maybe I won't….""Die counterrevolutionary scum!".And he pushes him off the edge

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