Astonishing Attack by Judge: Protest Action Planned
Jayne Christine Harris, aged 21, an heiress and a former debutante, was fined £350 at the Central Criminal Court yesterday for unlawfully possessing cannabis. She was allowed seven days to pay the fine, with three months’ imprisonment in default.
. . . Judge Gwyn Morris, QC, told her.: “You appear to be a useless member of the community enjoying a large income which you do not earn. The only contribution you have made to working life since you completed an expensive schooling was to act for a very short time as some sort of clothes peg, euphemistically known as a fashion model.”
(The Times, 9th May)
An emergency meeting is to be held of the General Council of ANUS (Amalgamated Non-workers and Useless Succubae), to consider a call for a one-day general strike in protest against the judge’s remarks. The call is made by the Country Landowners’ Association, and has the support of the Institute of Directors and other major unions.
The strike is planned for the first day of the grouse-shooting season. Militants plan to stay in bed all day (those who do not already do so). Many will paint slogans on their hot-water bottles and wine carafes. Writes our Non-industrial Correspondent: Such a strike would paralyze Belgravia and Mayfair and affect nursing homes and expensive resorts all over the world. Besides grouse moors, casinos and the turf would be hit.
Sir Graball D’Encloseland, the chairman of ANUS, told our reporter of the unions’ angry mood. “We shall have every Tom, Dick and Harry criticizing the capitalist system if a stand is not taken now,” he said. “Anyway, what does a judge do except bugger about in a wig? There are plenty of people with small incomes which they have to earn, and if the opposite is not allowed as well Britain is finished. I don’t understand his remarks about clothes pegs. I have hundreds of clothes pegs, and every one is usefully employed holding expensive suits and shirts. This is a matter of principle. Our lie-in is going to be a blow for freedom and honour and justice and all-those-other-bits-in-the-school-song, you know. We shall fight for —”
At this point Sir Graball was seized with a violent fit of coughing, and our reporter left discreetly as the brandy was fetched. Sir Graball D’Encloseland is 109.