1910s >> 1915 >> no-136-december-1915

Words to the Wise

Men are running short — save the kids!
*     *    *
Capitalism is no longer a system, it’s a bloody mess.
*     *    *
Socialism, therefore, is not a mere theory, it’s a necessity.
*     *    *
In short, Socialism is not a dream, though capitalism is a nightmare.
*     *    *
To do nothing to end it is to maintain this regime of murder and robbery.
*     *    *
Socialism, said the holy friar, will destroy civilisation ; well! what is capitalism doing?
*     *    *
Churchill has gone to the front. Now perhaps we shall soon hear of the Germans being gassed.
*     *    *
There is one certain remedy for Socialism, said the statesman, and that is war. But will capitalism survive it ?
*     *    *
Bill Nye said : “It is the duty of the great orator to howl for war, and then hold some other man’s coat while he fights.” The orators are not tired yet.
*     *    *
The workingman who votes for and champions the class that robs him is like the ill-treated cur that licks the hand that thrashed it.
*     *    *
Oh yes! The boss and his workers are partners. They do everything and he gets everything. They do the work and he does them.
*     *    *
A lesson in Eugenics
Lady: —Have you any experience of children?
Woman : — No, Ma’am, I’ve always work’d in the best families.
*     *    *
The “Daily Mail” says “Single Men First.” It wants cheap soldiers, hut that’s not all. It was stated during the South African War that the “Mail” was staffed by office boys. Since then it appears they’ve all got married. Hence the noble offer of the single men first. It recalls what Artemus Ward wrote to King Edward: “I have already given two cousins to the war. and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife’s brother ruther’n not see the enemy krusht. And if wuss comes to wins, I’ll shed every drop of blood my able-bodied relations has got to prosekoot the war.”
*     *    *
It was pay-day and the wage-slave crawled into the pay-office of the Gas, Light and Coke Company. A shiver ran down his back as his eye fell on the “writing on the wall”

“ONLY SEVENTEEN MORE DAYS!
GO! DON’T BE PUSHED!”
“ Its come at larst'” he gasped, staggering forward to meet his fate. “This meant the sack – and another bloomin’ volunteer “
A minute later the wage-slave was being earned out on a stretcher.

“It wasn’t the poster as did it, Maryann.” the wage-slave was explaining “But arter readin’ ‘only seventeen more days, go, don’t be pushed!” and then ter find, insteader bein’ pushed they’d given us all a bob-a-week rise — and without arstin’, rekerlec; without arstin’ — that’s what done it. That’s the third without ever bein’ arst. Lumme, they don’t arf luvus these days, they don’t, not arf!”

The Slacker.