Reply To: Russian Tensions

You’ve guessed it True Nazi, Alan has been in deep cover as a member of the SPGB for years, infiltrating the organisation to find out what we are doing and how we do it and getting paid squillions to do.

CIA might have saved a few quid by going on line or just visiting our meetings and asking for copies of all of our meetings’ minutes including the conference, the executive and sub committees, as we don’t have any secret meetings and all meetings are open to the public, but that’s the yanks for you, never been very good with their cash.

Just to clear up any other conspiracy theories that are floating about in your febrile imagination, I am indeed the leader of the Lizard people and have regular meetings with the Duke of Edinburgh (he’s not actually dead, he is feeding of the blood of new born babies and exists in a zombie like form whilst living in a council house just outside of Halifax). Robbo is actually a shape shifting alien and lives in Malaga accompanied by the corpse of the late entertainer Matt Munroe (Robbo can often be found late at night serenading Matt’s corpse with his rendition of Born Free). ALB (not his real name) has been masquerading and a Marxist economics expert following the unfortunate incident where he killed his children’s nanny, whilst attempting to actually kill his wife (that’s right I can reveal that ALB is none other than Lord Lucan) and Shergar has been secretly stabled in the cellar of 52 Clapham High Street since February 1983 (if the IRA are reading this, you owe us a fortune in hay)

Only a genius like you, True Nazi, would have been able to penetrate our deep secrets. Still you’ll never find out where the crypt of Mary Magdalene is, or where the Holy Grail is (it’s behind the photocopier hidden in some old copies of the Socialist Standard)